Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk is a universal language darling
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