She said her name was "party"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
