somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
