So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
