I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
