The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
