omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
