I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
