Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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