hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
