Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
