The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
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once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
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It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize