My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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