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• (480): View more from Arizona

  So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell

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• (408): View more from California

  I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.

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