I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's official drugs can't kill me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
