just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
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I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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