We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
