I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
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She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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