I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
