Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
