you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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