I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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