why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
