i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
