hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
