his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
