he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
