can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
