how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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