arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
is that a dick in a sweater?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
