Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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