Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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