She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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