My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
