You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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