Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
the raccoons are back...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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