Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
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