I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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