DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
