what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
