if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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