Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
