I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
