i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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