Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
