Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
