Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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