He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
