PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
