using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
