It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dignity is for republicans.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
