angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
