I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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