I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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