new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
