worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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