I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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