I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
