My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
should my penis look like a turkey
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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