Sponge bath it is.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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