Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
