bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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