Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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