True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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