when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
